Okay, picture this. You’re standing in a crowd in a situation that is outside of your normal business environment (networking event, social event, the zoo, etc.). You spot the ultimate decision-maker of the Client Company that you have been “chasing” for the last 18 months. Intellectually your knee jerk reaction is to start moving towards that “to good to be true” opportunity. All of a sudden a voice inside your head says, “What? Are you crazy? What if the Decision-Maker totally gives you the cold shoulder? What if they have never heard of your company? What if they say ‘Don’t bother me; I only talk business at the office’? What if…?” You immediately slam on the brakes. “Phew, that was a close one, you almost made a fool of yourself”, said the voice.
Take Out the Trash – One of Mom’s Rules that Still Makes Sense
The above scenario has probably only happened to me. Few of you, if any, ever had a similar experience. Ahem! Your Head Trash may be different. We all have some, it’s just a matter of identifying what it is so we can dump it or compensate for it, so we can advance to the next level in our businesses.
You’re now asking yourselves, “What does Mom have to do with Head Trash?” Well in due respect for well intending mothers, the value systems they help us establish as children can sometimes mess us up as adults - especially as salesperson type adults. For example; “Don’t talk to strangers” may be acceptable advice for a toddler, but guess what happens when sales people carry that advice into adulthood? Right! Now you know why you get that unfounded uncomfortable feeling every time the boss asks you to do more prospecting. Mom is sitting on your shoulder (figuratively speaking of course) telling you not to talk to people you don’t know. So when you do, you are uncomfortable.
Now, think of all the other values that were instilled in you by all your influencers (parents, teachers, guardians, etc.). Here are a few common ones:
- Don’t bother busy people.
- It’s impolite to talk about money.
- Important people should be respected.
We also have learned Head Trash from experiences as adults. Some of them are:
- I must always talk to a purchasing agent first.
- If my competitor has a lower price it will be harder for me to sell my product.
- Money is a real issue.
- If I present everything I know, I am bound to hit my prospects “hot buttons”.
Taking Out the Trash
There are two ways to get rid of, or compensate for, Head Trash: The first thing you need to understand is that the value system set up by your influencers is going to be much more difficult to change. The most efficient answer may be to compensate for the Head Trash as the first step to attempt to eliminate something that you have believed in for 20 – 60 years. The compensation self talk may sound like this. “It’s okay not to talk to strangers in general. However, there are select strangers that will no longer be strangers if I initiate a conversation with them and they respond. They will then no longer be strangers.” Several positive experiences as a result of this self-affirmation will eventually change your value system.
The second approach is to just force a change by creating new habits in your sales behavior. This strategy makes more sense for the learned Head Trash, because that is not so deeply seeded. A habit is something you intellectually believe in and support with action. If you believe intellectually that your Head Trash is keeping you from being as successful as you would like to be, change it. You will most likely need someone to help coach you through the change so plan on finding a mentor or trainer to get you through this challenging task.
Rule: Wimps keep doing the same things over and over and over hoping something will change. Professionals take action to make the necessary changes.
