The beginning segment of this 3 part series explained the importance of psychologically understanding the people that you work with and sell to. Think about it. We’re all selling ourselves several times throughout the day. Whether to our subordinates, superiors or friends and family; part of getting people to go along with our ideas is a selling process. To be successful in selling, we need to understand and move into the “comfort zones” of the people we are selling to. To help us understand them more thoroughly we can look at their birth order in relation to their siblings. There are certain characteristics of individuals, based on their relationship experiences as young children.
These predictable characteristics are not 100% fool proof, but knowing them helps us get very close to determining the “comfort zones” of others. In previous weeks we talked about first borns and middle borns. This column will address the last borns.
Last Borns
Last borns are the attention-seekers—they love the limelight. They have some degree of self-doubt—growing up, they were hugged and coddled one minute and "hurry up—off we go” the next. Parents just got plain tuckered out by the time the last born rolled around. Last borns most likely received many “instruction set” messages from older brothers and sisters, but looking back, who knows for sure how “straight” that information was. In my family, when we went to McDonald’s for dinner, Nancy, the last born was still eating her cheeseburger while the rest of us had already piled into the car. Dad had the engine started and was ready to drive away before one of the kids would yell, “Hey Dad, Nancy’s still inside, don’t leave yet.” (You can bet Dad was a first born.) Last borns definitely had messy rooms growing up. Last borns are very fun loving. They have very high self-esteem. Why? They were always in a steady state of “self protection” mode throughout their childhood – the “last guy in line” syndrome, therefore, they needed to preserve their self-concept as simply a means of survival. Last borns have a “roller coaster” energy level—when they’re up, they’re up, but when they’re down, they’re way down. Last borns deal well with people older than they are, which makes them good candidates for salespeople. They also are very good charmers – a good sense of humor.
Interaction Tips for Last Borns:
- Get them involved personally in any presentations that are
required—they will bathe in the attention.
- Give out plenty of “strokes;” they crave them, as long as they’re
sincere.
- Understand that an excited last born on Wednesday can easily
disintegrate by Thursday. It’s that ambivalence they felt growing
up – it stays with them.
- Also understand that getting a last born to make a commitment
will be difficult; it goes against their grain.
- Taking control and telling a last born what the real problem is
tends to be a real eye opener for them; in some small
psychological way you are assuming the role of big brother or
sister, all over again.
If you’re not a first born and there is six or more years difference between you and your next sibling, you could show first born traits. So you’ll have to be careful here. After determining your customer’s birth order, you may think you’re dealing with a last born when she could very well be a first born.
How do you find out where the other person is in the birth order? “Jenny, were you the youngest or the oldest in your family growing up?” No, unfortunately you can’t ask that question. It’ll stick out like a sore thumb. Try asking a series of questions that sound more relaxed, when it “fits.” “Jenny, come from a big family?” Any brothers or sisters? Older or younger?” Now you know.
And if your “antenna” is out, you’ll pick up on other clues…
…Neat desks versus sloppy ones. First born versus a last born, 8
times out of ten.
…14 number 2 pencils “standing tall” and sharpened in the pencil
cup. First born.
…Prospect opens with a funny joke. Last born. Why? Last borns
love attention.
…Someone late for a meeting? Definitely not a first born—could be
a middle or a last born.
…Friendly, or open-minded, without you having to ‘earn’ it? Middle
or last born, leaning more towards Middle, 7 out of 10 times.
Knowing these traits will help you with your interpersonal skills within your own company—your employees, or ones you’re considering hiring … or, perhaps, in your marriage. I don’t suppose you’re married to somebody other than what you are? If you are, then you can relate that to how your behavior on a sales call should factor in your prospect’s birth order position. Good luck and good selling.
