(First of three part series)
Are you what some people call a “natural” for a sales career? That’s because their personality and yours match. Do you really understand “People – Centered” skills or are you just listening to those who compliment you and not “hearing” the others? Pay attention dudes and dude-ettes, this may help you with the “others”.
There are at least 10 distinct “People-Centered” skills to help entrepreneurs, professionals and especially salespeople become even more “in-tune” with customers, clients and prospective customers.
The first people-centered skill that is important to understand is “birth order”—or, where someone falls in their sibling order. There are numerous studies in psychology which show general similarities in personality traits based on where individuals fall in the sibling order, their birth order. And if we could read our prospect’s mind, find out what birth order he or she is, and fine tune our selling to match these traits, that would give us that much more edge in the field. Skeptical? Answer this question. The American Presidents. Did you know that over 70% of them have the same birth order? Care to guess which one? …That’s right! First born. How’d you know? President’s of Fortune 500 companies? Over 50%. Entrepreneurs? Yup. Also over 50%. How about you? First born, middle child or last born? Highly structured? Probably a first born. Pain in the neck? You’re probably an “only child.” Rarely make commitments? Middle child. “Loosey goosey,” especially about being on time? Good chance you’re a middle child or a last born. Rollercoaster energy level? Last born. Love to be the center of attention? Definitely last born. See, certain traits tend to fall into each sibling position.
Let’s give credit where credit is due. The utmost authority on sibling order psychology is Alfred Adler. One of his many books on psychology, pertaining to birth order is The Practice and Theory of Individual Psychology, Littlefield, Adams & Co., 1968. Other big names in Birth Order psychology are Bradford Wilson and George Edington, First Child, Second Child, McGraw Hill, 1981.
First Borns
Let’s start with First Borns. There are two different types of first borns – the compliant first born and the strong willed/aggressive first born. Compliants are the model child growing up. They have a high need for approval, willingness to please, and want to be mother's little helper. The strong-willed first borns are high achievers, perfectionists and very detail oriented. Characteristics of first born children: They tend to be on time. In fact, on time isn’t good enough -- early is even better. They’re the people who map out where they’re going the night before in case there’s traffic. If they see traffic, they go 85 miles an hour for fifteen feet because it's 15 feet closer. That's why we have gas-guzzling tax - for the first borns. What if you’re always late, and your prospect or customer is a first born on-timer? It’s over. Even before the call starts. And because they're on-timers, you have to set agendas. Remember, first borns like structure. And if you set agendas, you must meet that agenda. First borns tend to be very, very serious people. When you try to tell jokes, perhaps because you think you’re “warming up” to the prospect, they might laugh, politely, because that's what they’ve been taught to do, but they will say, under their breath, "Well, I've just wasted three seconds--let's get moving, buddy." Now, these people are striving to be perfect because, remember now, Mother didn’t just “raise” me for the first five years growing up, she “wore” me. I was going to be the model child. I was supposed to be the president of the United States. First Borns take it more personally not being perfect. They can't help themselves. First borns tend to have very few friends—they probably don't have time. “Only children” are first borns magnified. It’s either black or white—but not grey. And they tend to be very inflexible—and also very controlling. After all, they had their own way growing up. There wasn’t anybody else around.
Tips for dealing with First Borns:
- Be on time.
- Don’t touch anything on their desk.
- Be prepared to live up to their high expectations. Don’t confuse that with being subservient. Just deliver on what you promise.
- Be prepared to follow a first born’s lead.
- Watch the humor.
- Pay attention to the details. They’re waiting for you to “trip up.”
Now for all you first borns reading this, don’t get upset. Your assertive, decisive, deliberate behaviors is what makes the business (and political world) tick. We’re proud of you.
Want to learn about those “Middle Borns”? Part two of the three part series will pick on those siblings.
